Would you believe me if I told you that forgiveness is empowering? ?Perhaps it may sound odd, but if you?re curious to know exactly how that is, then read on:
It?s often said that resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ?Or as Buddha once said, ?Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.?
Over the past 6 years that I spent learning new techniques, methods, teachings on self-improvement, I realize every problem we have is based on a desire for happiness from outside of ourselves.
It is, therefore, conditional happiness. This is the basis for a victim mindset where we blame and criticize others or circumstances.
Resentment is just another expression of such conditional happiness: ?I will be happy when I get revenge? or ?I will be happy when he pays me back the money he owes me?.
Even if what the other person did was wrong and justly deserves punishment, the desire to be justified is also a desire to seek happiness in an external condition. And the wrong thing may never actually be corrected, meaning it will compromise your happiness. ?(I am not however suggesting we allow people to step all over us)
So here is what I am suggesting:
If you are struggling to really forgive someone, then forgive them for your sake! Do it for yourself not for them! Do it so you would be happy.
So long as you hold onto resentment, you are hurting yourself since the painful event is over. It is literally not happening now. So if it?s not happening now, then by repeating the painful event in your mind, you are literally inflicting pain upon yourself, since it is your mind.
The person who abused you or cheated on your, or stole your money isn?t stealing your money this very moment. The event is already done and over with. ?So if it?s not happening now, then I encourage you to also forgive yourself for repeatedly entertaining such pain in your mind.
Keep in mind that forgiveness doesn?t suggest that you condone whatever painful thing was inflicted upon you and it has nothing to do with admitting defeat or being stepped on. ?It is about giving yourself mastery over your mind and so that you can experience happiness now. Therefore, forgiveness is ultimately about empowerment!
When you think about the painful event, do you see that you are the director of your ?story? or ?movie? (i.e. the pictures/sounds in your head that you use to torment yourself with)? Not only are you the actor or actress, you are the director. ?This means you have the power to turn off the movie or reshape the movie, or keep entertaining the movie if you so desire.
And I believe that is why Jesus says to forgive and to love our enemies, because he knew forgiveness is all about our happiness. He knew that by loving our enemies we are loving ourselves, since the way we internally represent our enemies in our minds is fully our responsibility.
Again if the painful event is over then the only reason you experience pain is due to unconsciously rewatching the painful event. I say this not to blame you but so that you become aware of what you are doing so that you can stop it. You have the power to change the movie.
With this new awareness, can you now forgive them for your sake? Or can you forgive yourself for inflicting pain upon yourself?
We have a tendency to encourage others when they go through pain, yet we beat ourselves up. So what would happen if you encouraged yourself by forgiving yourself?
What difference would that make?
What you?ll discover is that as you genuinely forgive yourself and make peace in your mind, you will notice you?ve forgiven the offender 
P.S. ?Learn which celebrities used the?Law of Attraction. ?Click here to learn more.
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